Dust and Dresses. #17

Where the heck have y’all been? Oh, it’s me? Truth be told I haven’t been feeling very insightful or funny lately. But then, this morning, a situation occured. Almost every story I tell needs a precursor, this one has two.

#1. I love to wear casual dresses in the spring and summer. The kind you throw over your head then slip into your favorite flops and you are dressed for the day.

#2. I abhor dusting. Blech.

Today, I am wearing an aforementioned dress and dusting. Blech. My front door is open everyday because I need to know what’s going on in my town, on my block, but most specifically, my tiny corner of the world-my front yard and porch. You can call me Gladys Cravits, from the 60’s TV show “Bewitched,” I’ve heard that a time or 1200. I have a chair catty-corner from my front door. There is a service worker in my ‘hood today. Apparently going door-to-door, I did not realize this. I’m dusting that chair, bent over at the waist, and there’s a knock on my front door. I straightened myself, wheeled around and he was just about to faint. I could tell. I’m sure the train wreck he just saw thru my glass door is gonna leave a mark. He’s gonna need disability, workman’s comp, his eyes lasered or early retirement. Sorry guy.

The very best thing about the 22+ inches of rain we’ve had this month? When it is cloudy and dark outside, you can’t see the dust as well.

Speaking of…why has nobody invented a whole house dust system? This is my idea, I’m no engineer…a something or other in the attic with a main switch in the laundry room, or anywhere. A person (me) would flip the switch twice a day and it would suck up every iota of dust that wafts thru the air or has landed on anything. Is that brilliant, or what?! Somebody humor me, please! Put your prototype in my home, I’ll test it often. You could call it “Dawnless Dusting” meaning Dawn would not be present with a dust rag in hand. I’m still very happy to vacuum though.

I’ve been known to tell little children, for a plethora of years, that the dust floating around is definitely not dust but Tinkerbelle the Fairy checking up on them. Lucky for me, dust seems to glisten when the sun is shining. Like Elf on a Shelf but all year round. I don’t know who Tinkerbelle is reporting back to but that has never come up in the story telling. You do what you gotta do, right?

I hope May was good to all of you, thanks for checking in…I’ll be talking to you!